It took a while after stepping into widowhood to begin thinking about dating and possibly remarriage. 

Being an obsessive list-maker, I drafted an inventory of what was important to me: A man who is family oriented, active outdoors, someone who is making a difference in the lives of others.

My Walking for Wellness crew—because of self-quarantined living—set up a text group. Which means my phone pings frequently. Smile.

Michelle Bader, my beautiful young friend, is standing watch as her husband is dying of cancer. Michelle’s anticipatory grief for the loss she and her three children will experience is taking her heart on a crazy roller coaster ride these days.

It seems we humans tend to not appreciate things—like, our good health, or our people, or a way of life, or our freedoms—until we lose them.

My friend Dan lost his wife to cancer in July 2019. Their daughter Carey works for Friends of Trees, a non-profit based in Portland, Oregon. When her co-workers gifted her with a grove of trees to plant in memory of her mom, Carey organized a “friends and family” tree-planting gathering.

Perhaps you’ve heard the story of the young boy on a beach where hundreds of starfish had been washed ashore by a high tide.

Self-care was something I didn’t do well in the final months of my husband’s life. I dragged my tattered super hero cape in the mud far too long—because I didn’t want to bother people, because self-care sounded self-ish.

There’s a trend, a splash across the internet that’s troublesome. I’m noticing articles with titles, such as, “Why Successful People Don’t Use To-Do Lists” and “Why To-Do Lists Don’t Work.” 

Every time I return from a short hike, Roxie is sitting at her guard post where she can see out the large windows that flank the stone fireplace. No one’s getting away with anything on her watch.

A cousin told me about her widowed friend who was just beginning to open her heart to the thought of a new love. This woman prayed, “Lord, if you want me to remarry, you’ll have to drop him in my lap.”

While buckled into an airplane, reading and ready for take-off, someone took the seat next to hers.